


The Cup of Sorrows

by Dragondizzy



Series: The Fade Zone [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bad Decisions, Gen, Humor, Magic, One Shot, Parody, Ridiculous, Transformation, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 08:31:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3320759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragondizzy/pseuds/Dragondizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team race to find the Vir'Abelas, and find that, well, maybe it's not the end of the world if Corypheus has a sip after all...</p><p>Abuse of Abelas' dialogue from the game :P</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cup of Sorrows

Charlotte pulled her dagger from the corpse, wiping it on the head of the man once called Sampson. The rune Dagna created made short work of him, sapping the power from his armour. The fight had been brutal and bloody, but as always, they were still standing.

Stepping over his body, she watched as Abelas sprinted off up the steps towards the ruins above, Morrigan in raven form racing to beat him. Not looking back, trusting her companions to follow, she streaked up the stairs after him. She found the mage and sentinel facing off, Morrigan standing protectively in front of what she made out to be a table covered in numerous cups.

“We cannot let him destroy it, the power is too useful to waste.”

Morrigan held her staff out threateningly, keeping him at bay.

“Do you even know what you ask?”

Abelas gestured to the table behind her, dismay etched on his features. Morrigan continued to watch him warily.

“As each servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on... through this.”

Passing around Morrigan to get a closer look, Charlotte stood open-mouthed at the table before her. There were multiple cups, glasses, tankards - each filled with what looked like water. She turned back to Abelas with a frown.

“This is the Vir'Abelasan?”

He nodded gravely.

“If you are truly worthy of this power, you will know the correct cup to choose.”

Charlotte stared at him disbelievingly.

“Seriously?”

“One does not obtain permission, they obtain the right.”

She let out a long sigh, feeling the pinch of headache.

“So what happens if we choose the wrong one?”

“The Vir'Abelasan may be too much for a mortal to handle. Brave it if you must, but know you this: If you choose correctly, you shall be bound forever to the will of Mythal.”

Shaking her head, she addressed the others.

“So, who wants a go at the magical power roulette?”

Dorian snorted, and stepped forward to examine the table. Choosing the most ostentatious, gaudy glass, he held it up to them.

“Bottoms up!”

Taking a big swig, he set the cup down as they all waited with baited breath. Nothing seemed to happen for an age, and Dorian began to relax.

Suddenly the air seemed to shimmer around him, blurring his form and producing a blinding light that made them shy away. In seconds it was over, and when they looked back they saw...Dorian. But not as they knew him. Tentatively reaching a hand to his head, the mage ran his fingers over newly sprouted horns. He'd also grown a few hands taller.

“I'm...I'm a Qunari?!”

His mouth was wide open in a mixed expression of shock and horror. The rest of them mirrored his shock back at him. Charlotte turned to Abelas, holding her hands out in question. He just shrugged.

“Anything is possible.”

“It turned him into a _fucking Qunari_!”

Dorian stood there, trembling, running his hands over his over his horns, over his face, over his body, over...

He paused, slipping his thumbs into his waistband and pulling it outward. Dorian's eyes widened, and he looked up, a grin on his face.

“I'm a _Qunari_!” 

Stuffing a hand down his trousers, his grin widened as he rummaged around. _Why? Why me?_ Charlotte closed her eyes, and once again thanked the Maker for this wonderful life.

“So, anyone else want to give it a go after that?”

Solas stepped forward, doing his best to ignore Dorian's inspection of himself, and bowed.

“I believe I will know which is the right one.”

He circled the table, studying each cup carefully. Finally, he lifted out a plain, wooden tankard. Nodding to her, he took a mouthful. Each one of them took a deep breath and held it, waiting for the result.

He was encompassed by a glittering aura, his outline fuzzy, followed by a bright beam of light. When they could look again, Solas was no where to be seen.

“Solas?”

Charlotte walked around the table to where he had stood. His clothes were crumpled on the floor, a small lump moving erratically beneath them. Carefully, she crouched and pulled back his shirt. A pair of furry ears popped out, followed by a snout and lolling tongue. _Maker_. Groaning, Charlotte reached forward to pick up the wolf pup called Solas, lifting him up so the others could see.

Dorian just laughed, and Cassandra looked dazed, as if in a dream.

“What...is happening?”

Charlotte tucked the wriggling pup under arm, giving it her gloved finger to chew.

“I don't know Cass...I really don't know.”

Abelas, who had been watching silently, coughed and stepped forward.

“The well has been despoiled. My role as sentinel is no longer necessary. Continue on if you must, but know if you succeed, you will be bound as we are bound.”

Turning, his coat flaring out dramatically behind him, he strode out of the room. Charlotte watched him go, mouth agape.

“What...he can't just leave?! How do we turn them back?!”

She looked questioningly at Morrigan, who stared blankly back.

“'Tis nothing I've ever heard of...this magic is unknown to me.”

“Fat lot of help you are.”

A massive explosion sounded from the other side of the room, a shock wave shaking the ground, making them stumble. Bits of rubble and dust rained down on them. A huge hole now gaped in the wall, with Corypheus floating on through.

“You think you could defy me the power of the well! You are pathetic!”

All of them whirled and raised their weapons, while Charlotte just stood there, thinking.

“Alright, you win, you can have it.”

Corypheus stopped, mid-float.

“What?”

She gestured to the table, backing away from it, beckoning the others to follow.

“It's all there, spread between these 'vessels'. I think the well broke so they used what they could.”

He glided to the edge of the table, eyeing her suspiciously.

“You have done something -”

Charlotte shook her head emphatically.

“Nope, not at all. We were not worthy. Pure scum, not like you.”

She knelt, pulling Cassandra down beside her with a yelp. The rest copied, Dorian pitching forward from the unfamiliar weight on his head. Corypheus grabbed the nearest glass, a sparkling crystal goblet, and held it aloft.

“At last, I shall become the god this world rightly deserves!”

With that, he downed the water in one.

Morrigan, knelt next to her, leaned closer to whisper in her ear.

“What if 'tis the right cup?”

“Then 'tis -” Charlotte cast a sideways glare at the witch. “Then _it is_ the will of Mythal.”

They watched as Corypheus went through the same process – concealed by magic for a moment with an outburst of dazzling light. What followed...

They all stood, and went to examine the new god of the world. He squeaked angrily, nose twitching.

“Corypheus...is a nug.”

It was said so matter-of-factly, and seemed so unbelievable, that they stood there watching him in silence.

“If...if he dies, will he come back as Corypheus? As in, not Coryphy-nug?”

“I think we should not find out, Inquisitor”

Pup Solas growled, and wriggled free of her grip. Gasping and reaching out, they couldn't stop him from biting Coryphy-nug's neck, the rodent going limp in his mouth. He dropped it at Charlotte's feet, teeth bared in a wolfy grin and tail wagging.

A sickly sound filled the chamber – bones cracked and blood squelched as they peered over at the corpses left down below. Flesh tangled and knitted, threatening a monstrosity covered in gore. Then the transformation stopped.

Dorian snorted, and Cassandra's lips curled into a small smile. Another nug was running around, screaming.

Charlotte picked up Solas, scratching between his ears.

“Tavern then?”

 


End file.
